Introduction
Divorce is hard. But for parents, it brings an even more complex challenge: co-parenting. In Minnesota, courts encourage parents to work together for the best interests of the child — even after the marriage ends. Whether you’re sharing custody equally or one parent has primary custody, successful co-parenting requires effort, consistency, and clear communication.
At Martine Law, we support families navigating custody arrangements and parenting time disputes. This guide offers actionable tips to help you build a healthy co-parenting relationship after divorce, based on Minnesota family law guidelines and years of legal experience.
1. Prioritize the Best Interests of Your Child
Minnesota family courts make all custody decisions based on what’s in the “best interests of the child.” The same principle should guide your co-parenting relationship. Even when emotions are high, both parents must remember:
- Children thrive on stability and routine
- Conflict between parents can harm emotional well-being
- Your child is not a messenger or pawn in disagreements
Keep your focus on what your child needs — not what your ex did wrong.
To better understand what Minnesota considers the “best interests” standard, refer to our detailed guide on how the court evaluates these factors.
2. Use a Detailed Parenting Plan
The more detailed your parenting plan, the fewer misunderstandings you’ll face. A Minnesota parenting plan should outline:
- Weekly parenting time schedule
- Holiday and vacation arrangements
- Decision-making responsibilities (legal custody)
- Drop-off and pick-up logistics
- Guidelines for communication
- Dispute resolution methods
Having everything in writing makes expectations clear and reduces opportunities for conflict. If you don’t already have a detailed parenting plan, consult a child custody attorney to draft or modify one.
3. Communicate Respectfully and Clearly
Good communication is the cornerstone of effective co-parenting. That doesn’t mean you have to be friends — just professional, consistent, and respectful.
Tips for better communication include:
- Use written messages (texts, email, or co-parenting apps)
- Stick to facts, not opinions or blame
- Focus on your child, not your personal relationship
- Avoid using children as messengers
Many Minnesota families use Our Family Wizard — a nonprofit tool designed to support civil co-parenting communication.
4. Be Consistent With Routines
Children feel secure when their routines stay the same across both households. Try to maintain consistent:
- Bedtimes and wake-up times
- School routines and homework expectations
- Discipline methods
- Screen time rules
- Meal and activity schedules
Even if you disagree with your co-parent’s choices, working together to maintain a similar structure benefits your child’s emotional development.
5. Respect Each Other’s Time
One of the fastest ways to create tension in a co-parenting relationship is by being late, missing drop-offs, or changing plans without notice. Always:
- Be on time for exchanges
- Give advance notice if plans must change
- Avoid last-minute cancellations
- Encourage your child to enjoy time with the other parent
Showing respect for your co-parent’s time sets a powerful example for your child and builds mutual trust.
6. Avoid Talking Negatively About Your Ex
Your child should never feel like they have to “choose sides.” Speaking poorly about your ex in front of your child can:
- Create guilt, anxiety, and confusion
- Harm your child’s relationship with the other parent
- Undermine your credibility during custody reviews
Minnesota courts take parental alienation seriously. Keeping your opinions to yourself helps preserve your child’s emotional safety and could impact future custody decisions.
7. Anticipate and Plan for Conflicts
Even in the most cooperative co-parenting relationships, conflicts will arise. The key is how you handle them. Your parenting plan should include a method for resolving disputes, such as:
- Mediation with a neutral third party
- Consulting with a family law attorney
- Agreeing to meet in a neutral setting
The Minnesota Judicial Branch offers guidance on dispute resolution and modifying parenting time schedules.
8. Stay Flexible as Your Child Grows
Your child’s needs will change over time — and so should your parenting arrangements. What works for a toddler may not work for a teenager. Be open to adjusting:
- Schedules to accommodate school and activities
- Parenting time to support evolving relationships
- Decision-making roles as your child matures
You can petition the court to modify your parenting plan if a substantial change occurs. Learn more about that in our guide to modifying custody and parenting time.
9. Prioritize Mental and Emotional Health
Divorce affects everyone, including parents. Your own emotional health plays a major role in your ability to co-parent. Consider:
- Speaking with a therapist or counselor
- Participating in co-parenting classes
- Seeking community support groups
Focusing on your well-being helps you model emotional resilience for your child and keeps your parenting relationship steady.
For free resources, LawHelpMN offers statewide directories for counseling and co-parenting support services.
10. When to Involve a Lawyer
Sometimes, even the best intentions aren’t enough. If your co-parent is violating your parenting plan, alienating your child, or making major decisions without your input, it may be time to consult a lawyer.
At Martine Law, we help Minnesota parents:
- Enforce existing parenting plans
- Modify custody and parenting time
- Navigate high-conflict co-parenting situations
- Advocate for the best interests of their child in court
Final Thoughts
Co-parenting after divorce in Minnesota is rarely easy — but it is possible. With structure, respect, and legal support, you can give your child the stability and support they need to thrive. By following these tips and relying on the right resources, you’ll be setting your family up for long-term success.
If you need help modifying a custody order or addressing co-parenting challenges, contact Martine Law for a confidential consultation today.